Manosphere Beefs

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If you’ve been following me on Twitter the past few months, you’ve probably seen the hashtag #manospherebeefs a lot.

The idea behind this tag (originally coined by Tyler Vin) is to take the most outlandish absolutist statements or “out there” point-of-views from within the Manosphere and then satirize/parody/lampoon them.  Given the rich amount of source material currently available, it’s not that difficult.  The BS drama this past weekend (LaidNYC referred to it as “menstruating“), for example, gave a lot of material to work with.

Satire is difficult to do because if done wrong it becomes trolling or mean-spirited attacking.  So there’s a fine line that has to be walked in order to make it work properly.  Being that many guys in the Sphere are pretty intelligent, they pulled it off extremely well.

However a problem arose with some topics.  Well before taking the topic to its logical conclusion to engage the satire, it already goes beyond parody and then into the realm of the absurd.

Here are a few examples (links to originals in names):

Ace:  “Women are stupid for following their emotions.  So follow your dick everywhere, always.” #manospherebeefs

Beppo:  “Anyone online who says they’re an Alpha is just a keyboard-jockey.  Excluding myself of course, since I really am one.” #manospherebeefs

Tyler:  “If you treat Valentines Day any differently than any other day of the year, in any respect, you’re a faggot.” #manospherebeefs

Beppo:  “You need to do exactly what I do and take everything I say as gospel truth in order to become a freethinking man.” #manospherebeefs

Lucky:  @Tyler_Vin Looking at naked chicks you’re not banging is beta.  Do you even approach? #manospherebeefs

Beppo:  “You should sacrifice your job, health, family and meaningful relationships for what’s most important:  having a soft harem” #manospherebeefs

Tyler:  “Hand juicing is my intellectual property now.  If you so much as crush a grape without paying me, I will fight you.” #manospherebeefs

———–

At this point some of you might be thinking:  “That sounds like beta ankle-biting, brah.  Are you some kinda pussy faggot loser?

(That would be another great example of #manospherebeefs, by the way.  And the answer is, no it isn’t and no I’m not.)

The underlying idea is not to attack or troll (notice there’s no specifically named persons or sites), but to highlight the absurdity in the direction the Manophere is currently moving and then pointing it out to others.  Such that, a man is forced to acknowledge that tiny ignored kernel of doubt in the back of his mind and think, “Wait a second, someone actually said something like that?  That’s fucked up.  I need to reevaluate and take stock of which views conflict with my personal ethics.”

Because heaven forbid you have a thought of your own, instead of adopting someone else’s without question in order to fit in with the crowd!

I’ve talked about it before, but I’ll list some supposedly “required stances” current in the Manosphere that cause me to raise my eyebrows.

  • The absolutist, black-or-white view of a world that is actually shades of gray. (eg. “All women are sluts!”, “Alphas do X, betas do Y, so do X or you’re a beta!”)
  • The convincing of an unknown number of men that any relationship deeper with a woman than a one night stand is “beta” or weak.
  • Advocating the eschewing of marriage and raising a family because the writer’s parents got divorced when he was a kid or he himself was dumped/divorced. (Yeah, I said it, deal with it.  This is the dirty little secret that many writers try to hide. Don’t believe me?  Do some digging on some of its most ardent supporters.)
  • Spending hours tearing down, ridiculing and mocking movements that exist nowhere else except on the internet. (eg. Hyper-feminism, Fat acceptance)
  • Supposedly being all for the free exchange of ideas, yet banning those that don’t conform to the site owner’s point-of-view.
  • The toxic effect that money has when injected into a “closed” population. (In my opinion, most of the actual beef is based on this and pageviews that drive it)
  • The rise of clickbait, listicles and image-heavy posts as a predominant method of “writing”.
  • A shift from actually undertaking self-improvement to finding a scapegoat for failures and doing nothing to address underlying causes or issues. (eg. Hypergamy, feminism)
  • The borderline rage and overall negativity of some (mostly this applies to commentors).

———–

My livelihood* doesn’t depend on the internet. I could close up shop tomorrow and not be worried about money.

I don’t have a readership where I could either sic on people I disagree with, demand they kiss my ring or where they’d accept anything I say as gospel.

I don’t care about online “street cred”, since much of what I write is mainly cathartic and mostly for myself.

I’m not an “expert” in what would be considered the “core” of the Manosphere (seduction, money, fitness, style etc), and by stereotypical Manosphere standards I would probably be considered a “loser” and a “failure.”

I may not have been a founder of this corner of the web, but I’ve been around long enough to be genuinely concerned about the direction we may be going.

———–

The core idea of the Manosphere is to spread information around, because the more information you have, the better conclusion you can draw after sifting through all the data.  Locking yourself away from other views because they challenge your current paradigm should be anathema to a supposed “free-thinking man.”

Besides, unless you have a pitifully weak ego and cannot handle criticism, you should be able to laugh at yourself.  That type of thing keeps you humble and makes you grow as a man.

I know I’m not the only one who thinks this.

 

*Disclosure:  I have an Amazon Affiliate account and I probably won’t ever make enough to even buy a book with the commission.  Besides, anyone can get that affiliate easily since they approve everyone.

Why I Got Rid of Tinder

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Tinder is the latest and hippest smartphone application that uses your Facebook to match you up with girls in your area. You look at pictures and swipe right (Yes) or left (No). If you and the girl both swipe right, you can then chat with them and possibly meet up. Basically, it’s “Hot or Not” with a messaging feature.

They call it a “hook up” app.

It’s really easy to set up, you just need a Facebook and a few pictures to get started.

Some guys get laid like gangbusters from it. From what I’ve seen, the girls these guys are banging probably aren’t that high of quality (read: fat or extremely slutty).

———–

On Monday, I nuked my own account. Yeah, I had a bunch of matches but for the most part there was a very low return of investment. Reactivating my Facebook just to give this a go. I figured, why not? I didn’t have anything to lose from it. My messages to my matches were normal ones about one of her pictures or something in her bio. No “sit on my face,” “let’s fuck” or other blatantly propositioning messages

The results

Of my hundred (?) matches, I had a grand total of 3 numbers (one was fake or the girl didn’t respond to my texts) and one date (girl was 20-30 lbs heavier than her pictures). Most of the girls that messaged me first turned out to be bots.

Although, one girl did message me in Italian and wanted to meet up for coffee and conversational practice. For some reason she closed her account or blocked me (wouldn’t understand why though) before I could get her number.

I had some hopes at getting a few dates out of Tinder and possibly meeting some new people at a minimum, but that got dashed fairly quickly. As some of the postings by girls to tinderfessions says anything, most of the girls on there have no actual intention of meeting up. They basically want some attention or validation that they’re attractive. I lost count at the number of girls whose bios have their instagram/twitter/snapchat/kik handles in them. There even was one for a prostitute advertising her prices with text in the pictures.

The best bet with any of these new services is to get in at the beginning when people are using it for its actual purpose. I don’t live in LA, Miami, or NYC, so I can’t comment on how well Tinder works in those larger and more anonymous cities. For Columbus though, Tinder can be useful if you want to put the effort into it.

If you still have a Facebook, give it a shot even if for a laugh.

One Month

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It’s been one hell of an interesting month here in the Manosphere so far.

First there was the Mardi Gras meetup where most of the participants were shafted by their supposed “host.”  I’m curious about the exact details, but none so far have gone into specifics as to how the betrayal went down.  Guess I’ll have to wait for Matt’s book to come out to know the full story.

This past weekend saw the guy that runs Viva La Manosphere exposed as a content stealing hack.  With pretty serendipitous timing to this revelation, Kid Strangelove launched his new no-bias/no-BS Manosphere aggregator yesterday:  Manosphere.com (also follow the automated twitter feed).

Yesterday, Tucker Max surfaced out of the fratire retirement home to partner up with an academic to launch Mating Grounds, where he’s basically putting together an ex novo version of the Manosphere (without the attribution, since we’re “PUA degenerates”).  Danger & Play and LaidNYC have their doubts about this venture.  Jeremy flat-out calls him a liar.  From a guy that basically rejected his past, a past that made him a famous author incidentally, I’m skeptical about his actual motivations for this.

Also, and I had forgotten about this (h/t LaidNYC in the comments), Roosh’s “I got arrested in Poland” hoax. The biggest voice in the Manosphere trolls his readers and supporters for a few hours of cheap laughs. It was, and I’ll say it, stupid and immature since there were many willing to do WHATEVER necessary to help Roosh out. I’ve supported him in the past by buying most of his books, but in the future I may change my mind before clicking “buy” on Amazon.

The funny thing is that all this just happened in the space of a few weeks, and there’s still many more to come until 2014 ends!

If there’s one thing you can say about the Manosphere:  there’s never a dull moment.

Manosphere Omertà

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Omertà is an extreme form of loyalty and solidarity in the face of authority. One of its absolute tenets is that it is deeply demeaning and shameful to betray even one’s deadliest enemy to the authorities. – Omertà, Wikipedia

Cu è surdu, orbu e taci, campa cent’anni ‘mpaci (“He who is deaf, blind, and silent will live a hundred years in peace”). – Sicilian proverb

Omertà is an interesting concept that can and probably should be adopted by many in the Manosphere.  As a code of honor, you don’t betray or talk about your fellow comrade-in-arms to your enemies.

Many guys, including myself, write under pseudonyms and are very protective of their identities.  In the era of HR bitches Googling employees’ names or asking for their Facebook passwords, this is understandable because most have to work a normal 9 to 5 job pay the bills and don’t have the option of being blatantly out in the open.

The topics we write about and the philosophy we want to promote is fairly controversial and overall strange in the eyes of mainstream society.  Although this goes against common-sense and denies reality, you can and probably will lose your job for something you do in your personal time if someone disagrees with what you write.

Question:  “What was probably the main reason why many really good Manosphere blogs have closed up over the years?”

Answer:  The author(s) got outed.

Now it just could be being too fast and loose with detail in their writings (eg. Using a girl’s real name instead of a nickname, exact locations and names of places, recognizable pictures).

Or it could be the most egregious of sins, whereby another Manosphere denizen outs his fellow-man.

I don’t believe this is out of malice though.  From what I’ve observed over the few years I’ve been around, it seems to have been the case of someone “name-dropping” the author’s real name or giving out some other contact information (address, phone number, personal email) without permission.

Again, I reiterate, most of us have normal 9 to 5 jobs and don’t want to jeopardize our livelihood just so someone can gain some internet cred on a forum or comment section.  Don’t be like Joe Valachi, keep your mouth shut.

Nothing is more disheartening than to open up a good blog’s homepage to find either “[URL] is now marked private by the owner” or “[URL] is no longer available.”

———–

A proposal for the rough framework of “Manosphere Omertà”

  • The pseudonymous identity of a Manosphere denizen is sacrosanct, no trying to determine their real name or personal details.
  • If a Manosphere denizen with a pseudonym reveals his real name or personal details to you, you take that information to the grave.  No touting “who you know personally” or that you “know X’s real name.”
  • For those who write under their real name, remember those that write under a pseudonym do so for a reason and that they might have more to lose than you do.
  • The keeping of secrets and staying silent about them should be a point of pride amongst Manosphere denizens.
  • For meetups in real life (small to large), no posting to the internet (Twitter/Facebook/Instagram/Blog, etc) of photos of another Manosphere denizen without explicit permission.  This would prevent our version of “Apalachin” from occurring.
  • Breaking of Omertà is unforgivable.  As the breaker, your honor as a man is forfeit, and any commitments/agreements/pacts that any have with you are rendered null and void.  The breaker will have no appeals for his guilt, as a man’s word is his bond.

Waiting On Weight

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Right around the time I was finally kicking that persistent sinus infection back in August, I noticed I lost some weight.  As a “just in case” measure, I started tracking it when I woke up and when I went to bed.  I also forced myself to increase my food intake by adding morning and afternoon snacks while at work (with EVIL grain-based food).

I told myself that I would go back under the bar once I got close to 145 lbs (also accounting for how my back felt).

It was a slog.  I didn’t even break 140 lbs until late-November.  Eat eat eat, all the time.

Even though I’ve been mostly inactive (a walk after lunch) and sit all day in front of a computer at work, my metabolism still ran hot.  I’d fluctuate up and down, it was slightly irritating.

I was sick of being inactive, so I packed my gym bag to go after work on Monday, 27 January.  Screw having a buffer of “fat” for the newbie gains.  However that didn’t work out the way I planned it though.

I came down with the flu and with all the fun that entailed.

Although I was a bit lucky in that I had minor case of the flu, meaning a low-grade fever, no sore throat and no nausea.  The body aches on the other hand were a bitch.  I didn’t have an uninterrupted night of sleep that entire week I was out sick from work.  All my joints were sore and stiff.  Thank God for ibuprofen though.

So a month later, after an unexpected weight jump up to 143-144 lbs (huzzah!), I’m making a second attempt at getting back in the gym.

Seven pounds and six months later, I’ll be finally going back to the gym to regain the muscle I lost.

8 August 2013 (lbs, morning/night):  136.5/136.5

21 February 2014 (lbs, morning/night):  144.5/144.5

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