Saturday night two weeks ago I found myself sitting at the rail at My Local Corner Bar. While slowly nursing a couple of beers, I waited for midnight to strike so I could quietly celebrate my twenty-ninth birthday.
Sitting there I wondered why I bothered coming out.
My state was low and my mood dark. For the most part I didn’t want to talk to anyone and focused on watching Louisville play Notre Dame (that I could care less about). The band was shit too. Coldly I brushed off an older fat woman who told me I should “get on the dance floor and live it up!” (“Maybe later,” I replied.)
I wasn’t in the mood.
Midnight struck. I finished my beer and went home.
Io ho ventinove anni.
I usually try to hype myself up and get into a better state, but recently its been a daunting task to drag myself out. Right up until the minute I leave my condo, I’ve changed and re-changed my mind about going out at least 20 times.
“It’s too cold out.”
“The band playing tonight doesn’t bring in a crowd.”
You won’t have to wait for a stool at the bar.
“I don’t want to look at a sea of late 30’s/early 40’s women.”
A bunch of horny, early 20’s girls might roll in.
“Single girls don’t exist during the winter, and the ones that do aren’t attractive or are really fat.”
You never know, that cute curly-haired girl you talked to last month may be out and not be the DD.
“Alright, I’m heading out. I’m just going to drive around a bit first.”
Don’t take too long or you’ll end up standing by that post like last time.
The lack of people to go out with makes it less fun. Shit, I always see groups of people when I go out, and here I am rolling dolo. I know this would be considered an inner game issue, but realistically, I usually have a better time in crappy venues when I’m with friends. Of course my non-existent social circle here in Columbus doesn’t help me any with this problem. I’m one hell of an introvert.
Just gotta keep putting in work…and chalk my successes and failures up to the Game.