8 August 2016
Even though I went to bed closer to midnight last night, I woke up to my alarm not wanting to hit the snooze button 5 or 6 times. Which is strange. The weather isn’t crappy out. There’s been plenty of sun this whole summer. I don’t get it. Maybe the fact that I needed to shave this morning stopped me from hitting the snooze button for the third time (6:09)?
I turned off my alarm and got out of bed, turning around to quickly make it up. Mentally, I noted that I needed to wash my sheets. Having completed that easy chore, I walked to my dresser and opened the second drawer from the top. Looking at the folded polos I had in there, I selected one I hadn’t worn in the past week: a white one with thin grey stripes and no buttons at the collar.
Satisfied with that I stripped down, dropping my boxers into my dirty clothes basket and folding the soccer shorts I slept in on top of my bed’s comforter. As I passed through my closet to get to the bathroom, I grabbed a white wifebeater and a pair of boxers from the stack. I stepped into the bathroom, turning on both the light and the exhaust fan, and then shut the door behind me. After taking a piss and flushing, I closed the lid and put my clothes on top. I flicked on the shower to warm it up while I brushed my teeth, remembering that I had a dentist appointment that evening. After I finished brushing, I reached below my sink and brought out the toothbrush travel container, setting it down to my left near the wall.
By now the shower was warmed up. Before getting in, I stepped on the digital scale nearby to weigh myself. This has been a daily ritual for more than three years now, to make sure I don’t get surprised if I see I’ve lost a significant amount of weight. Today though, it read what its been reading for a while now: 149.5 lbs. Satisfied, I stepped into the shower and got under the spray.
After enjoying the spray (and bumping the temperature a couple of times), I washed my hair and then soaped up. While rinsing off, I noticed some of that orange crap that seemed to appear in my tub no matter how many times I cleaned it. Reaching behind the shampoo bottles, I grabbed the old toothbrush I put there from said occasions. I bent down and casually brushed the mildew and gunk away. After putting the toothbrush back, I stood back under the spray, bumped the temperature, and enjoyed one last bit of relaxing warmth before starting my day. I then flipped the shower off.
I stepped out onto my tub mat and began drying myself off, deliberately skipping my face. After wrapping my towel around my waist, I went over to the sink. The mirror was fogged, which I cleared with a few wipes of the nearby hand-towel. I opened the faucet to “hot” and wet my beard stubble. Reaching with my right hand, I grabbed the container of shaving gel and depressed the button on the top. A dollop of light blue gel appeared on my left hand’s index and middle fingers. After dividing the blob between my two hands, I started to rub the soap onto my face and neck. Having done that to my satisfaction, I rinsed off and dried my hands. Grabbing my razor, I connected a new cartridge and began to shave.
Neck. Right side first, upstrokes. Then left side, upstrokes. Followed by the spot below the chin and around my Adam’s apple, upstrokes.
That last bit is always tricky for me, for some reason. I usually “move” the areas I need to shave there to make it easier for the blade.
Also, I think I have some fear of getting a bad cut if I pull my razor straight over the point on my Adam’s apple.
I finish my neck with a few sidestrokes towards the chin, running my hand along afterwards for any possible missed parts. Cheeks are next.
Left cheek first, downstrokes. Trying to get as close to my small sideburns as possible without taking half of it away. These were then followed with a few light upstrokes, taking care not to irritate the sensitive spot on my cheek that always gets irritated when I shave.
The right cheek is done in the same fashion, except this side doesn’t have a sensitive spot.
My chin is done with upstrokes, the blades of my razor always catching the small hairs there. I make a point to rinse my razor often to keep it from gumming up. A few downstrokes gets me the closeness I want. Occasionally, I have to make sure I get the hairs that grow at the corners of my mouth, which a few quick upstrokes take care of.
Lastly, I shave my mustache. These are done initially with upstrokes towards my nose. I’ve found doing those first gives a closer shave than downstrokes first. After going up and then down on both sides, I get the center by using a smaller two-blade razor. Up and down. Taking care not to catch my lip on the blade (which has happened before, and is something I intentionally try to avoid).
With that done, I rinse my face off and run my fingers around my jawline and neck to see if I missed any spots. And as usual, a few areas on my jaw stubbornly refused to be smoothed out. I quickly grab my main razor and sort that out, checking again with my hands. Satisfied I rinse off my razor for the last time and return it to its holder. I then rinse with hot and then with cold water to close my pores up. Undoing the towel from around my waist, I dry my face off and make note of a few nicks I might have to take care of with my styptic pen.