24 August 2016
14:49. Here I am beginning my 1000 words here at work. While I could just put these off until I get home later, there are things I have to do after work. Hit the gym. Eat dinner. Record my podcast. Edit my podcast. Getting this totally or partly out of the way seems to be a reoccurring theme. I want to be able to go home and switch off. No thinking. No overstimulation. I just want a relaxing time where my mind can spin down before going to bed at a reasonable hour. This doesn’t happen though, due to me being fallible.
It would be nice to have more time in the day and to be able to get more things accomplished, but I have a day job. Everything I do is extracurricular to that eight hour block where I’m at work. And since I’m not an idiot, I don’t use my work internet browser to even log into any of my outside activities. Being that a lot of the sites I might visit are blocked anyways, why bother? They even block radio stations that broadcast through the internet! If I wanted to listen to Radio Italia, for instance, I have to do it through my iPod or my phone. The Wi-Fi itself is garbage too, even after “upgrading” it recently.
So I’m here again, killing off my afternoon by typing this in a Word document and then storing it terrorist dead-drop style on my Gmail account. The past few days I have done this because: why not? I might as well get started on doing my daily challenge instead of browsing Twitter or checking my YouTube stats. It still does feel like a hassle though. I’m wondering what the reception these will receive when I eventually start posting them to my blog? I don’t know. So far, they’ve been all “here’s what I did today, slice-of-life” entries, similar to what I would normally write in my diary. Or what I used to write in my diary, since these have basically supplanted those for the time being.
The words do come to my fingers a lot easier than when I started this challenge. At least with my experience with writing, the hardest part is starting. You know exactly what you want to say, the facts you’ll use, and the arguments you’ll make. But you get stuck on the opening line. That to me is writer’s block. Every paper I’ve ever written, every lab report, and every essay start the same way. After putting some sort of heading down, I stare at the screen, trying to find the right words to begin everything. Eventually, something pops into my mind and I get to work. That beginning though, is a killer every time. Fear of being wrong, or a fear of sounding stupid? I don’t know. There have been times were I’ll write a sentence, get a block, and then go do something else to “unstick” myself. It usually does the trick, and sometimes it doesn’t. A good thing about word processors is that you can edit/change things very easily.
I haven’t had any hits on the job front lately. Usually most “normal” hiring in my field is in October. For some reason that’s the month that companies actually want to see what’s out there. I’m still stuck at the moment in my frustratingly easy job that I’m not too fond of, and originally only took it because I needed money and was the only offer I had in 2008. I wonder what would have become of me if they chose the other guy instead of me. I’d probably be in the military if that was the case, or working somewhere doing contract work in Buffalo (if it existed). I still want out before this ship hits the shoals in the distance. My lack of experience doesn’t help with me “jumping ship” though.
Last week I received a package from Volkswagen concerning the emissions stuff for my TDI. Simplifying all the lawyer-ese, I’m basically going to get the emissions thing fixed at Volkswagen’s cost and also receive a cash settlement. Good for me, I guess. I’m not sure exactly what the “fix” will be, since it needs to be approved by the EPA and some other government agency I’ve never heard of. The car runs great, and in comparison to my old POS Pontiac, is in amazing shape for having almost 90,000 miles on it. I’ll be hitting that milestone in a few months or so. My coming trip up to Buffalo for Labor Day weekend will put on 600 miles or so roundtrip, so I’ll be a little closer to that.
I really want to have 100,000 miles on my car, and my POS Pontiac barely made it to 98,000 miles before I decided to get a new car out of necessity. I was at the point, when starting my old car, where I’d be saying a “Hail Mary” before I turned the key. The fuel pump had already gone out twice, and I’ve had electrical problems with it for years. Never again will I buy GM cars. They’re garbage cars made by a garbage company worked by greedy union workers.
19:09. Holy shit, I’m wiped right now. I don’t think I went that hard when lifting weights, but goddamn. I’m definitely going to be sore tomorrow morning. Most likely after finishing this I’m going to watch a YouTube video and then maybe crash on my couch. I am not in the mood to do my podcast tonight. I’ve done it a day late before, so this isn’t a big deal. And tomorrow I should, in theory, be better suited to do it then. There is the whole problem of the time constraint and getting everything written, uploaded, and scheduled. It’ll be alright. The recording and editing of the podcast is what takes the longest for me anyways, so once that is done it’ll all downhill from there.
Damn, I really don’t understand why I’m so wiped out right now. I need rest, and if I’m not an idiot, I’ll be in bed earlier than the past few nights.