Right When You Need It

Ace’s posts tend to not be that long. There are times when he writes something that addresses your current situation perfectly.

Yesterday’s post was one of them.

I’ve mentioned Redhead on here a few times, and hinted at the internal frustration over this limbo I’m in with her. I understand her reservations and reasons why she’s hesitant at dating again. Hell, I would probably be doing the same thing if I was in her shoes.

What kills me though, is the uncertainty. Uncertainty in the “what am I to her?” vein.

When we see each other, we talk. “Getting to know you” type of stuff like family, life, and work. She’s real friendly and is telling me about herself. I gently tease her every once-in-awhile, which brings either a laugh or a smile to her face. She even told me the story (abridged) about why she’s holding off on “getting back out there”.

Now since I’ve asked her out*, I’ve been very upfront with the fact that I like her. I’ve even told her so**. While she isn’t actually “ghosting” or “flaking” per se, she might as well be.

It doesn’t feel like she’s stringing me on though, and I should know what that looks like.

Ace says that all you can do when it seems as if a girl has disengaged emotionally is to clean you home. You have no control over what she feels. Trying to regain her attention will have the effect of her sending you packing.

The post showed me that I have been doing the “correct” thing for the past few months.

Trying to get her attention – at this juncture – is a fool’s errand.

She’ll either write you off as desperate (at best) or creepy (at worst).

So take care of yourself.

Sanitize your surroundings.

Freshen (in every sense of the word) your environment.

There’s no downside to this course of action.

1} It clears the path for friends and visitors, new and old.

2} It helps clear your own head.

3} It prevents you from hating yourself and your station, if only a little, that much more.

4} It keeps you from obsessing over mistakes, missteps and self-doubt.

5} Lastly, and importantly, it keeps you from digging the hole between you and she even deeper.

Thus, get to work and let her go… to flee or return.

I knew this as truth, and was glad I’ve respected the boundary she’s put up for the time being. I can’t force her change her mind and I also can’t make her like me.

I still have my armor on,” she told me one evening after we walked back from the fitness center in my complex.

But, she has lowered her shield and has never drew her sword.

We’ll have to see what happens.

*[Immediate and enthusiastic “Yes!” when I did so]
**[No “That’s nice, but…” or “I don’t feel the same way…” when I said that to her]

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